Happy Mother’s Day to frazzled mothers everywhere!

It’s come to my attention there is a parallel universe out there somewhere, populated by children who do nice things for their mother on Mother’s Day. They carry pancakes on a tray to their mother for breakfast, who waits perfectly coiffed in bed with a beaming smile. Afterwards they present her with a plethora of wrapped gifts (slippers and PJ’s seem to be popular), a bunch of flowers and sprinkle rose petals in her path as she walks around the house. They not only take her out for lunch, but are perfectly behaved…okay that’s enough. Did anyone outside of the Target catalogue have a day like this today? Because if you did, I’m really very happy for you. But please don’t tell me about it. Just pretend your day was as crappy as mine.

My kids didn’t remember to say Happy Mother’s Day to me until Mr B. called from work to remind them at 9am, at which point I was presented with lovely handmade cards, a few sweet gifts and lots of kisses and cuddles. The lovin’ lasted about 12 minutes. Then it was on to bickering, pushing, yelling, crying, attempted dog strangulation and general craziness. And only some of that was the kids!

Here’s an excerpt from the card Alex wrote for me…

You are as sweet as a freshly picked rose. You are as beautiful as a daisy swaying in the breeze. Your cooking is sooo good Nigella gapes in amazement.

So that was very sweet and quite funny, it made up for the fact he was too lazy to wrap my present, and I got on with making lunch. My mum and her partner (Poppy Dave) arrived and attempted to referee the maniacs whilst I got everything until control, and we finally sat down to a very nice lunch. With some very nice champagne. That kind of made everything better.

Stuffed Portobello Mushrooms with grilled haloumi and vegetable salad.

  1. Google Portobello Mushroom recipes, find one you like then completely change half the ingredients because of what you have in the fridge. Ponder why they are sometimes called Portabello and sometimes Portabella. It’s just a big bloody mushroom with a fancy name.
  2. Stuff your mushroom with available ingredients – I used ricotta (mixed with egg), parmesan cheese, sauteed garlic & capsicum, spinach & some chopped cooked chicken breast. Sprinkle with breadcrumbs and mozzarella. Decide never to buy that brand of mozzarella again because it is so ugly.
  3. Place mushrooms in baking dish & cook in oven. Try to grill capsicum, eggplant & zucchini without burning them whilst chatting nonchalantly with guests, trying to ignore screaming children and surreptitiously checking the balsamic vinegar to check it hasn’t gone rancid since last use several months ago.
  4. Mix spinach leaves & rocket with grilled vegetables and desired salad dressing, add some prosciutto if your newly-omnivorous stomach can handle it, then top with seared haloumi…because squeaky cheese makes everything AWESOME.
  5. Serve to hungry guests and crack open the champers.

After lunch mum & I were joking about me going away on a holiday – by myself. Mia, the little charmer, seemed quite excited by that idea because she decided she could then go and live with her friend Ella and life would be more fun. She insisted several times I should pack my bags tonight. I was feeling the love.

It was a lovely catch up with my mum, and the afternoon was a bit quieter thanks to some bribery on my part. I can unequivocally say I love my children to bits and wouldn’t trade them for anything – but that’s because they’re all asleep and I’m a little bit tanked.

Happy Mother’s Day to Mum’s everywhere – I hope your day was as memorable as mine!